Sex: Kinky or Vanilla?

The study of the meaning of words and their evolution (semantics) is important for refining concepts, naming the emergence of new categories or improving their image. The current use of terms such as "surface technician" or "hostess" is one example. The newcomer "kink" or "being kinky" is no exception to the rule, of course.

The word comes from American slang and means a sexual practice that is out of the norm. It all depends, of course, on what constitutes the average. Sexually conservative partners ("Vanilla Sex") may consider anything other than monogamous sex in a bedroom to be an out-of-the-ordinary practice, and vice versa. Anyway, the word has become trendy and has crossed the Atlantic to land in the mouths of our "Sex and the City" apprentices. Enough to give our Francophile friend Jacques Toubon a few English sweats...

Usually, the term kinky evokes spanking, domination/submission, sadomasochism and sexual fetishism (together referred to as BDSM). While these behaviours are not new, its friendly use and advocacy is. More and more people, especially women, are now acknowledging and embracing this tendency. It is a way to except one's impulses and instincts, far from any social judgment or Judeo-Christian morality. The explosion of the kinks is due to the Canadian reality show KINK, which analyzes the sexual practices of different couples and its repercussions in their lives.

In American psychiatric circles, certain extreme tendencies of the kinks are identified under the name of paraphilia. The borderline is subjective because it is subject to personal reasoning, legal laws that are culturally shifting, and the difference between pure fantasy and practice. The challenge for doctors is to define whether the attraction or practice corresponds to a perversion requiring psychological intervention.

The success of gonzo pornographic films ("All Sex") in the 1990s with its subjective camera and lack of script changed the situation and pushed the morals further with its gangbangs or other humiliation (bukkake, stacking). Because of his taste for the forbidden, individuals regularly try to exceed their limits. The gonzo gives viewers a form of narcissistic satisfaction consisting in actualizing fantasies of hold. This form of pornography is destined to become richer in sub-genres as real equality between men and women develops. The Hentai (Japanese porn cartoons) itself has long broadcast scenarios on sadism, zoophilia and incest. These acts are not illegal in some countries.

In short, being kinky, without adopting such extremes either, is hype! Women assume their pleasure, their naughty side or their deliciously perverse inclinations, in front of astonished men who saw nothing coming. Sex toys are booming and are taking over all the discussions, while swinging explodes among single and unmarried women. And you, where do you stand?

List of practices

Exhibitionism, voyeurism, swinging, sadism (pleasure of hurting), masochism (pleasure of hurting), bondage (bonding), scatophilia (excrement), urophilia/undinism (urine), spitting, emetophilia (vomit), hygrophilia (wet matter), acomoclitism (shaving), acrotomophilia (amputee), auto,epiophilia (diaper), axilism (armpits), chronophilia (different age), cryophilia (cold), exobiophilia (aliens), fetishism (object), fist-fucking (fist), intercostal coitus (thighs), rubbing, gerontophilia (elderly), godovism (horse or bicycle exhibition), harpaxophilia (theft), hierophilia (religion), klysmaphilia (enema), lactophilia (breastfeeding), lictiophilia (licking), maIeusophilia (pregnant woman), nanophilia (dwarf), necrophilia (death), necrodendrophilia (dead tree), paedophilia (doll, toy), pedophilia (child), podiaphilia (maid), podophilia (foot), pygmalionism (statue), scopophilia (show, movie), siderodromophilia (train), sitophilia (food), somnophilia (sleep), spermophilia, teratophilia (deformity), trichophilia (hair), trimammophilia (3 breasts), vampirism, zoophilia.